MTG’s Latest Secret Lair Card Has A Willy On It

Yesterday, Wizards of the Coast revealed Magic: The Gathering's latest Secret Lair super drop, available for pre-order until March 26. Up for grabs are two sets of Phyrexian-themed cards, a series by Sam Burley, the '90's Binder Experience by Lisa Frank (which are all vaguely based on '90s cartoons), the incredible cards from proxy artist Tyler "RopeArrow" Day, and Tsubonari’s City Styles, which are all based on urban Japanese fashion.

Oh, and there are snakes too. Because who doesn't love snakes?

This last Secret Lair doesn't feature particularly expensive or rare cards, but they're all fine snakes for your next deck. It includes Hexdrinker, Hexdrinker, Lotus Cobra, Lotus Cobra, and Stonecoil Serpent, with art done by various artists. Stonecoil Serpent's art was created by Layne, who decided that their punk rock-inspired piece needed a dick smack dab in the middle.

Magic cards aren’t typically explicit, given the fact they’re marketed to children in department stores, but Secret Lair cards are different. As such, the artists have a little more freedom to create, and for the unfortunate Tevor the Pedantic, Layne evidently thought that he’d be best portrayed naked and impaled while throwing up horns–although his hands are probably what least draws the eye.

We can credit Reddit user OhioTenant for using modern technology to reveal just how detailed Layne made Tevor’s anatomy. As noted in the comments by user BilgeMile, "I think when the card is in print that it's going to be so small that you can't see it." to which Comfortable-Ad-20 retorted: "Hey, come on, that's a perfectly average size."

That's probably true. Still, this Stonecoil Serpent is certainly a new artistic direction for Magic cards. And if you can get past the penis (which you can definitely see from a distance), Stonecoil Serpent is a great card to add to your snake deck. Just don't tell anyone about what it's hiding.

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