If you’ve played Cyberpunk 2077, you’ll probably already know that the game gives you a lot of creative freedom when it comes to designing your dick. There are three different sizes to choose from, as well as two distinct styles: circumcised or uncircumcised. In terms of the former, the small dong in Cyberpunk 2077 is still pretty big – there was probably something in the water in 2050.
Over the last few weeks, loads of Cyberpunk fans have been making memes based on the game’s character customization section. One person made handsome Squidward, while another fan designed some weird hybrid of Shrek and Mike Wazowski. More recently, someone decided to bring Tobey Maguire into the game – although they had more in mind than a simple PhotoShop.
“Yup,” Maguire says as his willy grows from default to big. “Big change.”
Big change is right, mate. Those aren’t your Spidey senses tingling.
This is obviously just a meme, but it’s a pretty good one. The scene in the film where Peter Parker realizes he’s obtained Spider-Man powers already featured him having a cheeky little gander at his willy, so it seems only natural to bring that over to Cyberpunk 2077, where a change of this nature can happen in approximately 0.1 seconds. It’s particularly funny to watch his expression change while consciously acknowledging the context that he’s looking at his dong grow in real time.
There are loads of other funny bits and bobs about Cyberpunk 2077, too – even outside of memes. For example, one dead NPC decided they’d come back to life for a bit to have one last drink. Another character confused their pocket with their bum, and put their phone somewhere that phones absolutely do not belong. Maybe it was their mate’s phone and they were just playing a prank. “Oh, look – your phone is ringing. Go on. Answer it.”
Anyway, back to Tobey. Spidey’s fairly chuffed with his new schlong. “Nobody will ever call me Pee-Pee Parker ever again,” he says. “It’s Prodigious Penis Parker from here on out.”
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Cian Maher is the Lead Features Editor at TheGamer. He’s also had work published in The Guardian, The Washington Post, The Verge, Vice, Wired, and more. You can find him on Twitter @cianmaher0.
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